Getting The Mission

I thought it would be benefiting to someone that I start sharing my reason behind starting Black Table Seat and ultimately the mission of its purpose.

To be clear, I’m just one woman who grew up in Houston’s Historical Fifthward area who God trusts enough to give me the mission I have and a great deal of it I have to take alone.

Okay guys now I have to let some things out as I start these blogs to help you all better understand some parts of me, how I think and most importantly my relationship with God and my growth. In 2020 when covid started appearing, I’ve been focusing on Gods voice even more than before. Let me fast forward a little, In 2019 somethings had been confirmed about my purpose to me and parts of the journey I will experience along the way. Honestly I was terrified because I have had this encounter about life with God before probably too many times but this time Gods confirmation was overwhelmingly strong. Around that time I had also received a text from my grandfather’s wife (my bonus grandma) that he was in the hospital and he needed to speak with me. The same week my biological grandma (grandpa ex wife) was also having some health issues and she and I wasn’t seeing eye to eye on some things she needed to do. Now my anxiety has gone crazy and vision cloudy. This went on for weeks and I knew I had to snap the hell out of it. But it wasn’t easy.

I have what I like to think is an amazing relationship with God. Seriously, all that I have been through, someone may question God or even me but I am extremely grateful God trust me with the amount of purpose he has given me. Despite all the challenges I have encountered, God has always made sure that I remember he is there and he will have his way even while allowing free will. So my grandpa is now home and while speaking with him and now knowing that he was diagnosed with cancer, I knew whatever God needed to tell me or get me to see was important. The shift of my perspective on life changed again and I realized it would forever have to change as I grow. Heartbroken and confused my grandfathers strength gave me some comfort. 

My family on my mom and dad side are big on food. Lol. Like, everybody loves to eat. Lord! My grandpa loved to cook and he loved fish. As a kid he would make  T-Bone Steak, eggs, bacon, grits, and toast. I would be so full and sleepy, he would laugh so hard and say look at Ole Mikey. Lol. Saturday or Sunday we would have fish, it didn’t matter if it was for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. He was always down to have fish on the menu. And he was down to go catch the type of fish he wanted to eat. We would sit at the table and talk about all kinds of stuff, my feet barely touching the floor (I’m short) but the top topics were always art, food, boys, food, art, what I plan on doing with my life, oh and did I mention food?!? My grandpa was also talented in art as well as singing. He had a great voice. He and my grandma would sit in the garage and sing to one another. Good times.❣️

My visit with him when he made it home from the hospital was deep down, hard for me but I didn’t show it. He explained to me his life with cancer and that he was strong and knows God has to do what he has to do. I asked was he scared and he said no, he has had his talks with God and he’s okay with what God decides. We continued to talk and he gave me some history of our ancestors, introduced me to some family members I hadn’t met yet and then boom! Food!! He told me as a kid his favorite meal was biscuits and gravy. He told me how to make it and how his mom would make homemade biscuits and gravy because she knew that it was his favorite meal. Seeing his smile and face light up like mines do when our food subject comes up was heart warming. At that moment I realized life would really be different for me if he lost his cancer battle. I told him I wanted a restaurant when I reached retirement and he could come eat whatever he wanted. He laughed and said that’s a long time from now. But you don’t have to wait to do anything, talk to God make sure it aligns and go for it. 

I had just launched a different business at this time but the food business set on me heavy though. Shortly after our visit talks about something in the air was showing up on the news and I decided to work locally so I can spend more time with my grandpa while he fight through his cancer battle. We continued our talks and visit until the news broke that a deadly virus was going on and we may have to stay home. I was devastated because I just knew I didn’t want anything to happen and I couldn’t be there for my grandpa. So I called him and we talked and I told him that soon as the virus goes away I will come by and we can make his favorite meal or go fishing. He knew he may not be able to do that but he wouldn’t say it to me but knew how he felt deep down and he didn’t want to disappoint me so he said; okay baby.

Praying and my grandpa daily and being distracted from the thought of him passing was heavy on me. During this time I was still at work and since I was local I was cooking at home. Bringing food to work showed me guys are greedy. Lol. Men seriously love to eat food especially home cooked. They would walk by and look at me and say girl where you get that?? Damn that looks good, who cooked that?!? You need to start selling plates. Lol. I was like oh no, not cooking for people like that right now. So one of the guys asked if he could buy my leftovers. So I sold my first and only plate at that time. But some of my other coworkers would bring me food from their mom house and I would bring enough food when I cooked and we would all just share and pig out. Lol. I have proof how people would fall asleep at work from eating so much. Lol. But I can’t post those, we still need our job. lol

The spread of Covid was increasing fast and I was moved to another work location to basically have the same thing happened. Lol. Gumbo was one the menu and as my great grandma would say “Lord why did I make that” lol. Coworkers!!! Girl get a food truck so you can pull up during lunch. You don’t even need to work here. So a few more plates were sold. I’m humble by the whole encounter and God was speaking to me at the time as well but little did I know in the weeks to come, travesties would hit and hit with blow after blow. It was like I was being punched into water and every time I got up instantly there was another blow. My focus, drive, understanding and heart was completely depleted of anything it was pulling strength from and June was the start of some serious heartaches.